Rising from Ashes in Love

With each sip of hot cocoa, I experience a surge of inspiration, like the elixir of creativity coursing through my veins. The crackling fire, the comforting warmth, and the exquisite hot cocoa converge to create the perfect setting for the birth of my forthcoming blog piece - a testament to the beauty of finding inspiration in the simple joys of winter.

Dating after experiencing abuse can be a complex and challenging journey, as it involves emotional healing, trust reconstruction, and the rediscovery of one’s intrinsic value. Today’s blog piece shares considerations and tips for those navigating the path of dating after abuse.

When I left the toxic relationship, my holistic well-being and mental health suffered significantly. I was not the same person three weeks, six months, or a year ago. Despite the tribulations, I triumphed and grew stronger than before. Here I was, allowing one person to despoil my happiness, success, and future. It was naive of me to become so reliant that I nearly lost my sense of self.

After leaving the abusive relationship, dating caused me a great deal of worry and vulnerability. I had no desire to leave the house or go to work. I became aware of my trust concerns sooner and began to overanalyze potential pitfalls. I role-played every bad thing that could happen if I went out and started dating. This resulted in self-doubt concerning my emotional preparedness, self-worth, and self-assurance.

Today, I want to share my recovery path and shed light on the therapeutic mechanisms that facilitated my healing. Heartbreaks are undeniably painful, but they are not insurmountable. The first and most important thing I did was acknowledge and accept the events that transpired. I began to devote more time to myself. Prioritizing self-care became imperative in safeguarding my mental and emotional well-being. Immersion in activities that elicited happiness became a foundation of my self-care regimen.

Associating with friends who uplifted and supported me became a cornerstone of my recovery. I learned to be kind to myself and allowed as much time as needed before embarking on the journey of self-recovery. Seeking support from friends, family, and professional guidance became integral to my recovery process. The engagement of a psychologist facilitated the overcoming of trauma, providing coping mechanisms that helped restore my once-disturbed body image and bolstered my confidence.

I learned how to set reasonable boundaries and treat others with dignity and respect. Soon, I discovered that setting boundaries does not scare off the right person and does not jeopardize an authentic relationship. The identification of triggers that disrupted my well-being marked a pivotal step in my recovery journey. Trusting my instincts and attentiveness to red flags became second nature.

At present, I am working on rebuilding trust, as every relationship needs trust to thrive. However, I remain vigilant in reminding myself to exercise patience, recognizing that the establishment of trust in a new relationship is a gradual process.

Keep in mind that everyone’s journey is unique and recognize that healing is a time-intensive process. Self-compassion, a commitment to well-being, and willingness to seek assistance when needed constitute the foundation of the rehabilitation journey.

After experiencing abuse, it is possible to create healthy, supportive relationships; the key is to approach the process with self-awareness and perseverance.

Lastly, it is okay to talk about your mental health without reservation or stigma.

Thank you to all my readers for showering love and support to my blog.

Soaring on the wings of Solidarity

“Embracing the beauty of my solo journey.”

Please accept my sincere gratitude for your continued support of my blog. I appreciate all of my readers and views. I acknowledged my vulnerability in the last post, and I appreciate your acceptance of who I am and our shared respect for one another.

When I experienced turmoil in my life, a piece of me died. But I was aware that I had been born again. Life is a continuous cycle of death and rebirth, according to Dr. Jordan Peterson. Something better happened to me when I realized I would have to walk on this journey alone once again. I allowed myself to be redeemed by it, I decided to burn off my fear of being alone. I soon realized I was not alone. God is always there to guide me and give me the strength to handle whatever challenges lay ahead of me. I came to the realization that I am the ship’s captain and must not allow anyone to take the wheel. I also promised myself that I wouldn’t let anything stand in the way of my personal development.

Alas, I was making the decision to embark on a solo journey, many conflicting emotions came to mind. My inner self was thriving for healing and spiritual awakening, and I was delighted to fly cage-free. I was terrified, I felt like I was walking on eggshells, my palms were sweaty, and my heart was pounding out of my chest. I knew in my heart that I had to do this for myself in order to regain that happy grin, so I could look in the mirror and tell Nancy, “I love you so much and I won’t waver no matter what challenges I face.” Since it was my journey, I knew I would complete it alone. My adventure would make me stronger than I was yesterday and help me to be a better person than I am today. I made the decision to purchase a one-way ticket in order to take in the mist from the waterfalls, soak up the warmth of the sun while strolling around the state park, feel the cool breeze on my face, dance beneath the blood-red sky, and consume the wilderness once and for all. Photographing the tourists and requesting a favor in exchange for having my photo taken. My self-assurance and sense of accomplishment returned. My inner voice said to me, "I did it, "I'm on my first solo trip, and "this is where I can finally soar high in the open sky."
I didn’t initially anticipate becoming so attached to myself. I felt as though I was slowly falling in love with myself after my first solo trip. More than anything, I began to enjoy my own company. I learned to be satisfied with where I am right now, to not let other people’s expectations crush me, and to be proud of what I have accomplished. Knowing that I could carry a shining light wherever life led me next and that I was on the path to being more resilient, courageous, and daring sparked my soul. I gave birth to my inner child once more. This time, she was going to sing truthfully and dance with fire, painting the darkest nights with light, and chasing her goals and dreams to the ends of the planet. Knowing that I deserve the same grace, kindness, and love that I effortlessly offer to others.

I experienced total rebirth.

Once more, I’d like to express my gratitude to all of my readers for taking the time to read my post.

The Powerlessness of Men

The Desire

I am grateful to all of my readers and viewers for their encouraging comments on my most recent blog post. I appreciate all of my readers who have been patiently waiting for my future blog entry. I'm back with another article on lust for sexual desires.

The sun was peeking through the blinds as I was spending my Friday morning resting in bed. I received a message on my phone from someone I have never met or spoken to.

It amazes me how often men approach me nowadays that I'm eligible just by looking at my social media profile picture. Despite knowing who I am, they messaged me and asked me to join up with them for one night. 

It's interesting to learn that guys today are solely interested in having a one-night stand with anyone who will allow them, regardless of whether they are single, married, separated, widowed, or divorced. They do not care whether a lady is in a relationship or not, be it a marriage or another kind of long-term, short-term, committed, or casual connection.

Because there isn't much intimacy in their relationship, many married men or guys in committed relationships look for someone else. They can make contact with a fresh woman who will give them new energy for the day. They don't care about their relationship; all they want is a single night of informal prostitution.

Strangely, one of the men who approached me wanted to hook up with me even though he was married and had a partner since he couldn't fly out every month to satisfy his sexual desires. I do, however, respect his sincerity because he was simply seeking sexual connection and was prepared to reserve an Airbnb for it. Oh, my goodness, they would go to any lengths and do everything to satisfy their sexual desires.

They would only talk about how many times they could masturbate in my vagina in a single night to satisfy their sex needs. I wonder why he is treating my sacred vagina as the focus of his sexual hunger after one swore, he would beat his record. They want to transform me into Anastasia from Shades of Gray and Laura from 365 Days. They imagine having their own red room or yacht where they could experiment with every position in one night.

The desperation and helplessness of men are expressed in their seductive words about how they want to taste me and slip their fingers from my neck to my vagina, sucking my lollipops, squeezing my thighs, tease my clitoris, and immersing me in a way that no one else has ever accomplished. They enjoy having these sexy conversations shortly after dawn. They are most likely at their most hormonal at that time. How they want to be on top of me as they indulge their lust for me, and later how they want me to be on top of them so they may escape into another reality. The flavor and zing give their sexual buzz more excitement and energy.

Platonic Friendship

Friends deserve attention and care

Ah, it's been a while since I published a blog entry. I'm grateful to my readers for their patience as I wrote my other piece. Here I am in the midst of February, the last chance of winter, when the air is crisp and the wind nips at our skin.

My blog post today is about developing a platonic friendship with a new person I met who is more similar to me emotionally than sexually. Once more, I sincerely hope that reading my post brings you all joy.

I'm sitting here sipping my rose and pistachio Kashmiri chai and contemplating how to communicate to the charismatic, self-assured friend sitting across from me. After several hours of in-depth discourse, the two of them strolled through the downtown streets as the wind blew in their faces. Finally, as the evening drew to a close, we made the decision to have an honest discussion on our relationship.

Something that always bothered me growing up and still does to this day, was the idea that our friends were meant to be temporary placeholders until we found a romantic partner. The partner would be the person we shared everything with, and our friend would simply need to take a backseat to accommodate that. That we could spend time and attention and love on friends, but we had to save most of it for romantic connections. In my opinion, I don’t think intimacy is only meant  for romantic relationships.

When I refer to intimacy, I do not mean sex or any other sexual action. I'm referring to the subtle ways we let ourselves be known and the efforts we make to get to know others. The connection that  allows us to enter another person's zone where our energy and feelings of connection are compatible. And of course, this looks different for everyone. We quickly form an opinion about another person without expressing it out loud. Nevertheless, I'm speaking to platonic partnerships in this instance.

Walking by the riverside while holding hands and telling them how much they mean to you without any benefit. Hugging them as often as they will let you, sitting next to them while they sob if they are having a horrible day, or simply being present with them as they sit on the couch and do nothing. Making travel plans over the phone or calling them when they'd had a bad week to listen to them. Becoming their pillar of support, their cry-buddy, their hug-buddy, the confidant with whom all secrets are as sacred as your own and where one is not judged for their unpleasant habits. Expressing your gratitude for the memories you are creating with them in particular and assuring others—as well as yourself—that intimacy is not exclusive to romantic partners. Moreover, your buddies need and deserve your affection and attention too. 

I adore my friends dearly and they are the most significant individuals in my life, and I make a conscious effort to maintain and develop my relationships with them. They have been there for me in my times of greatest need and through the times when I felt like my entire world was collapsing. It can be easy to neglect those relationships at times just because they aren't romantic, but I genuinely believe that friendships are deserving of our love and care as well. I believe platonic intimacy is more significant than we care to admit.

I appreciate you everyone taking the time to read my blog post; please let me know what you think of it in the comments.

Love and Relationships

It is a beautiful summer day, the shining sun, birds singing and children chasing soccer, playing carefree in the playground, and here I am in my calming place having thoughts about what caused the broken bond between love and relationships especially the families. 

In this competitive pandemic mode, I believe we all have somewhat experienced trauma, whether we realize it or not. We all have emotionally hit the wall. We, human beings are here to learn from every experience we have in life and then use the same as teaching for our prospective children. But what would we teach them? that pandemic ended the time and energy between the relationships. 

The lockdown has severely affected the relationships between parents and children. The unmet needs of children ( parents are unable to pay for education fees, rent, necessities, etc) as parents had been laid off from their workplace. The unmet needs of partners, not able to pay mortgages, the never-ending credit-card debts, the separation of parents, loss of beloved ones, unable to pay for a child's needs have dug a hole in their relationships. The forced homeschooling, work from home, not able to do outdoor activities, the late-night drinks with friends have left all of us vulnerable to mental health.

We must preserve our energy and time wisely manner. It is never too late to start a new beginning. Let's take this as a learning curve and find a way to reconcile to make relationships fruitful. Several things can support the relationship.

1: Showing affection to your partner/children allows them to connect with you emotionally.

2: Saying "I Love You" can have a major impact on your relationship and gives an excellent opportunity to remind your partner/child that you love them unconditionally and they feel connected and secure.

3: I believe pandemic has given us an excellent opportunity to spend time together, under one roof. Life is short and the pandemic has taught that in a rough way. Take this time to pass on valuable teachings to your child, teach them the importance of budgeting, the family dinners.

4: Create rituals together, this could be anything from a coffee date with your child/partner, an evening walk around the neighborhood or just a movie night at home, paint night with your partner. 

5: Make time for yourself, feel your vibe. Give yourself a treat with a soothing bath, a hot stone massage, engage in self-care. This will clear your head and reboot your brain. Learn, grow, evolve and become the greatest version of who you are.

There are numerous things in my head that I can write it down but the list won't seem to end. But One day you will look back and realize how hard we were hit with the COVID-19 pandemic but how well we did. 

Do leave me a comment and let me know what topics you all would like me to cover in my next blog post.