Platonic Friendship

Friends deserve attention and care

Ah, it's been a while since I published a blog entry. I'm grateful to my readers for their patience as I wrote my other piece. Here I am in the midst of February, the last chance of winter, when the air is crisp and the wind nips at our skin.

My blog post today is about developing a platonic friendship with a new person I met who is more similar to me emotionally than sexually. Once more, I sincerely hope that reading my post brings you all joy.

I'm sitting here sipping my rose and pistachio Kashmiri chai and contemplating how to communicate to the charismatic, self-assured friend sitting across from me. After several hours of in-depth discourse, the two of them strolled through the downtown streets as the wind blew in their faces. Finally, as the evening drew to a close, we made the decision to have an honest discussion on our relationship.

Something that always bothered me growing up and still does to this day, was the idea that our friends were meant to be temporary placeholders until we found a romantic partner. The partner would be the person we shared everything with, and our friend would simply need to take a backseat to accommodate that. That we could spend time and attention and love on friends, but we had to save most of it for romantic connections. In my opinion, I don’t think intimacy is only meant  for romantic relationships.

When I refer to intimacy, I do not mean sex or any other sexual action. I'm referring to the subtle ways we let ourselves be known and the efforts we make to get to know others. The connection that  allows us to enter another person's zone where our energy and feelings of connection are compatible. And of course, this looks different for everyone. We quickly form an opinion about another person without expressing it out loud. Nevertheless, I'm speaking to platonic partnerships in this instance.

Walking by the riverside while holding hands and telling them how much they mean to you without any benefit. Hugging them as often as they will let you, sitting next to them while they sob if they are having a horrible day, or simply being present with them as they sit on the couch and do nothing. Making travel plans over the phone or calling them when they'd had a bad week to listen to them. Becoming their pillar of support, their cry-buddy, their hug-buddy, the confidant with whom all secrets are as sacred as your own and where one is not judged for their unpleasant habits. Expressing your gratitude for the memories you are creating with them in particular and assuring others—as well as yourself—that intimacy is not exclusive to romantic partners. Moreover, your buddies need and deserve your affection and attention too. 

I adore my friends dearly and they are the most significant individuals in my life, and I make a conscious effort to maintain and develop my relationships with them. They have been there for me in my times of greatest need and through the times when I felt like my entire world was collapsing. It can be easy to neglect those relationships at times just because they aren't romantic, but I genuinely believe that friendships are deserving of our love and care as well. I believe platonic intimacy is more significant than we care to admit.

I appreciate you everyone taking the time to read my blog post; please let me know what you think of it in the comments.